Sunday, June 8, 2008

I'm still in bitch mode...

and let me tell you why:
1. Idiot didn't come through...now I knew he wouldn't, so I don't know why I'm even bothered by it...he told me "we will alternate weekends to give MMB her allowance" which, mind you, is only 20.00 a week...plus I give her "bonus's" for extra shit...well I planned to give her the allowance anyway cause he's an ass...he said that so I wouldn't haul his ass back to court for more support...but I know he's a broke ass...too busy trying to impress his young thing...plus he's never been good with money...anywho Ima haul his ass back anyway just for fun...we really don't need the money...

2. love ya bearmaiden, but you got on my fucken nerves...yea I "shoulda left earlier" but I was trying to gather the crowd...it's like herding ants...and we got stuck in traffic, nothing to do with the beach or the rock...be a little more understanding...

3. choclahontas has no preparedness skills, so the heat smacked her in the ass...no fan, no air conditioning...which meant I had chocolate..."let her deal with it" I can hear bearmaiden say...but it's not his fault and I'm not going to jeopardize his health to teach her a lesson...but they are going to pitas house tonight...she called, she misses her son...good for her cause folk know I snatch me some babies...

4. I don't like hypocrites...if you eat something, say "I eat this sometimes" don't say "I don't eat this" but sneak and eat it...especially when you're looking good...you're sabotaging yourself...

5. I totally have job burnout...I get a week and a day off...I just have to go in for meetings on two of those days...no big...no kids so it's ok

and finally 6. (which should really be a separate post)

yesterday I met my MMB's best friends mothers boyfriend...I'm really happy for her, she deserves to have a good person in her life, but it got me thinking...yesterday (I started the post on sunday, but it's monday morning) we went to seafood city...a popular hangout for many of my spanish relatives, especially after the much famed Puerto Rican day parade...as I love to people watch I observed the mating game...
I saw woman my age, younger and older than me, "dress to impress"...showing off their ASSets...putting their bodies on display...boobs hanging out, ass hanging out...stilettos high to make the bootie look higher rounder, move more...acting out videos and porn movie parts...

now back to my friend (love her)...she was walking with her new man...one piece tight jumpsuit...tasteful, but ASSets hanging out...same thing...he casual in prada shoes, gucci belt...the uniform...would each be with the other if the uniform were different?

I could dress that way if I wanted, but I wouldn't be comfortable...I don't have a big ass, but it's good enough...I could wear heels and tight clothes, low cut blouses to reveal my DDD's and curvy shape...but why? why must I put myself on display? what happened to the mystery? what happened to tasteful sexy? I don't dress like an old maid, but why do I have to wear shit cut up my ass or down to my navel to get a man...what happened to the revealing moment when you get undressed for that first time...like unwrapping a present...now women put all their shit out their to walk down the street...

watching those girls/women...grown ass women...strut their stuff on the catwalk in front of an audience of men was disgusting...if that's what it takes to get a man then fuck it, I will stay alone...

I refuse to "compete" to get/keep a man...one of the "reasons" why idiot and I didn't work out...he stayed with the dominican bitch for ten years...in the ten years she confronted countless women, cursing, fighting, talking, stalking to "keep her man"...but in the end he left her anyway...on to the next who will curse, fight, talk, and stalk to "keep her man"...with any man I'm with, if he sees someone and wants to be with them, God bless him cause I'm out...I refuse to play that game...

That's why I'm happily by myself...no drama, no games, no having to play a "role" or play the game by the "rules"...

7 comments:

Fat Lady said...

I have to comment so you know I'm still listening - and I am listening; I get all happy every time I see look through my Google Reader and see you have a new post up.

I'm mostly going to leave 1 through 5 alone except to say that if you know how people are then it's on you if you get annoyed when they do what they always do. You know what it's going to be - so don't even let it bother you. That goes for everyone you mentioned in 1-5.

As for number 6. Well, you know me, I barely put any effort into my appearance. And, certainly, I need to fix that at least a little - but for me, not for anyone else.

But here's the thing, I think you HAVE to be you. I think half the women who dress like that do it as much for themselves as they do for the men they're trying to attract. Dressing like that is what makes them feel pretty and desirable. Yes, it's a warped perception - but it's what they feel good about. And they will attract the kind of man who is attracted to a woman who feels good about herself when she looks like that.

You have to dress the way that makes you feel good about yourself because you want a man who is attracted to the real you. What good is having a man if he wants you to be something other than yourself?

That's why I never understand all these "rules" women. If you're going to walk around acting different and dressing different from who you are to get a man - then you wind up with a man who wants something different. What are you going to do with that? Marry it? For what? So that you have to maintain a persona that's not you for the rest of your life? Why!

You and bear maiden are more yourselves, more confident and comfortable with who you are than almost anyone I know. And THAT'S what's going to attract the men you need. The problem isn't with you or how you dress. The problem is that there are very few men who are worth your time. And you don't really want to be bothered with the sub-standard ones.

So go on, do you, and when the man who's worth it pops up - you'll know him and he'll want the real you.

Lovebabz said...

Hey I am with the Fat Lady on this! I know this is hard. But you know at the end of the day you still have to be who YOU are! I am convinced there is a Grown Man out there who will appreciate me and what I have to offer.

Thanks for coming by and leaving a comment.

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

Chiming in to agree with the above. I have never worn the "show off my assets" things. I have clothes that make me feel good, but are not "video vixen" wardrobe in the least.

I figure if a man wants to get to know me, than I want him to get the know the real me, and not some front I put on to get his attention.

professor said...

I'm so glad to know that there are folks who agree with me...some of the woman looked so uncomfortable tugging at their clothes or with a plastic smile...

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

woman dont give yourself HBP

and u wory about me

sista gp said...

Sorry about your mood. It can only get better right?

I love the comments above. Sometimes I feel like a prude walking through a mall. Seems like I am the only one not advertising my ASSets.

btw, i've added you to my blog roll

The Bear Maiden said...

The thing is though, like Fat Lady said, folks who dress like that LIKE to dress like that. I also don't particularly care to though every so often I'll let the girls get some air. And I daresay that most folks don't dress like that... that's why the few that do stand out so. I kind of admire them, to tell the truth... and it's made me worry less about the parts of me I'm not all that happy with... cuz my parts on a bad day are still in better shape than their parts on ANY day... so if they can flaunt them shamelessly, why shouldn't I?

But I gotta say... I don't always like the attention I get when I do... so there you go.

Plus, where we were is not exactly the classiest hangout spot on the block (one of the reasons it's not my favorite--the outdoor bar attracts the lowbudget zippy bike crowd) so the folks that were there that day were specifically there for "show and tell".

As for the man that will accept me (and you) for who (and what) we are...

I'm sick of people telling me he'll find me. I seriously don't think he exists and so I'm just gonna do what I have to do for me and my kid...