its way past my bedtime....

but I am totally enjoying the peace and quiet...moodmagicbarb is at a friends house and I put choclahontas and the blob out...I do feel bad, but you know when a dog is weaning her pups and she walks around looking stressed with the pups hanging on to the tit and squealing? thats me...the mother dog...choclahontas is dragging my boobs to the floor...oh she runs all types of guilt trips on me...like tonite, bearmaiden caught a ride with confusedbarb and her man, choclahontas was supposed to ride with them but at the last minute decided not too...i told her and the blob they could not stay with me...her parting words were "if I die tonite its on your head cause you put me out"...at one time I would've caved and let her stay (along with the blob) and been resentful, but tonite I said as I closed and locked the door "if you took the ride, you wouldn't have to worry about your safety"...click, click, click,lock...

I have too manuals to write...the first one will be entering adolescence, and the second one will be on the transition from adolescence to adulthood- both will incorporate the viewpoint of the child as well as the parent...I actually started the first one, but life got in the way...now that I'm more settled I will start writing again...cause they don't tell you about this shit...they don't tell you about the horrible wonder years between 11 and 14, and they don't tell you about the child who wants to be grown when its convenient but wont leave the house, or pay bill, or get a job, or go to school cause "I can't mommy...I'm doing my best but I'm so overwhelmed"...whatever...

maybe I will get the energy to go to the gym tomorrow...however I have a few issues with the gym...now that I've moved its not really convenient to get too...it all the way cross town and down town...also parking around here sucks and once I leave my parking spot it takes literally 40 minutes to find another spot...the other thing is there is a clear choice between the hair and working out...I get my hair blown out in the winter cause its too damn cold to go out with wet hair...but once I get hot and sweaty its a wrap...the hair is done...but I haven't gone to the gym in about two months and I lost 14 pounds...go figure...
but on the real side my back has been bothering me...I figured out that my chair at work is the culprit...I switched chairs late last week and its starting to feel better...
so Im sure the gym will be out and I will go to the beauty salon instead...I will go back to they gym when I start wearing my hair curly again...I get the vanity from bigbear who buys a new outfit for EVERY occasion, and the hair and face beat to natural perfection...
so now fatigue has set in so I'm turning in...later