life is coming together...

...and it feels good...I got my candles burning and I'm super relaxed cause it smells so damn good in here!!!!!...

MMB is in a moody mood, but even she is doing OK on the whole...we established that she is growing up and really is beginning to need a new wardrobe...wow, she going to high school sooner than later...my little chickadee is growing into a beautiful young lady...now if she would just stand up straight she might gain two inches *sigh*...

choclahontas is finally getting ready to get settled...all her ducks are finally in a row, and wildfires sister is going to sublet choclahontas her apt if wildfires daughter does not want it (which I doubt)...my diva is getting excited and very mature...I believe that we are coming out of the woods and into the pastures...I really do love her a lot...

I was thinking of her the other day...we hung up and she was very depressed and crying, and I realized that being born, growing up and dying are all one in the same...its something that you have to do on your own...it doesn't matter how many folks surround you, the feeling and journey is something only you experience...I remember crying at night and having those "oh shit" moments...those moments when you realize you are all alone (even if you have a mate laying next to you)to suffer/deal with the issue at hand...those moments when you realized you, and only you, can deal with/face an issue and solve it...that moment when you put your key in the door and realize that it's your apt and you are the one who determines if you get evicted or not...that you don't have mama on the other side to hold your hand and make it all better...it's like getting a tooth pulled or having an abortion...

and the joke is no one can make it better...only you...you have to live it, breath it and get through it alone...you realize at some point that all the advice you're given doesn't/won't help you and that you have to listen to you, because only you know what will work to make it better...but when you do listen to you and it works, you feel so free, such a sense of power and accomplishment because you and only you made it all better...that's growing up...