hopefully choclahontas is moving...

...we viewed an apt in my historical complex and she likes it...papabear will put the apt in his name, so if everything goes through she will be in by march 1st...thank God...
I love her but she makes me tired and her shit expands...actually explodes like a bag of flour...

idiot actually came and got MMB to "take her shopping"...she will come back with a pair of sneakers that she won't wear, but at lest he's making an effort...ok, I'm joking because he hasn't seen her since thanksgiving, and he's up here every weekend and vacation...and he stays about 20 minutes away...whatever...she was excited...didn't go to sleep and was dressed by 8...unheard of even on a school morning...he showed up around 4...personally I didn't think he would come, he has a habit of saying "I called your phone and didn't get an answer so I left"...
but I'm glad she got to spend time...I wish he was a better father...
she wants to go to boarding school and I wish I had the option of saying hey, go spend the semester at your dads and go to school there...but no, he has a house-full...every one scrambling for time/space/money/a ride (cause he lives in the boondocks)...one son just got sent there for selling drugs/gang violence...the other just got off house arrest, and a boy that lives there is in jail (or out on bail) for assaulting his teacher...the three don't attend school for one reason or another...oh yeah, he is a teacher and so is the women he lives with...and his girlfriend is a teacher too...whew...

I wish the girls could have had a father like I had...crazy as he is/was...he was/is our rock...but God does bad things for good reasons, I just haven't figured out this reason yet...by this point they are grown/almost grown and I don't know if they would accept someone "playing" daddy...I won't have any more children in part because what if the baby's daddy is great...I would be so hurt if they had feelings toward the baby for having a daddy that cares...

but on the bright side they have me 100%...and I'm a damn good parent if I say so myself...not perfect, but damn good...

so I'm waiting to go out...we are going to celebrate bearmaidens birthday at a sushi place...I don't like sushi but I hear the drinks are cool...then hopefully we will go dancing...I love to dance...once I'm there I hit the dance floor and dance till they turn on the lights...