my mouth

sometimes my mouth gets me in trouble...or should I say me personally...I can be so overwhelming...I can't help it...it's something I'm working on...I know I'm like a mushroom cloud that envelopes all...sigh...I scare myself...
I think i get it from bigbear...we just get so excited we just talk...but i'm not a gossip and i never talk about anything that isn't public knowledge...ever...i'm a strong believer in confidentiality even tho my life is an open book...
so it's not anything I might say in particular, but that i will talk someone to death...i have so much to say, and I love to hear folks stories...i love to get them talking...

i feel better about having reflected, processed and internalized my prejudices...i feel it has made me a better person...i truly hope no one was offended cause that is never my intention...

but can i tell you i like my friend? no matter what happens i feel so good at having put my stuff to the side and taken the time to dig deep...i just hope i didn't scare him...sigh...i just get so excited when i talk to folks as smart as me...i just wanna live in their pocket...lol...

anywho, i'm taking it one day, one minute at a time...i'm NOT gonna be my usual overwhelming self and just live...but i do look forward to spending more time with him...and that's something cause he actually got past the first line of defense on his own merits and not cause he fit my man mold or talked a mean but bullshit filled game...

so the job is ok...i had a bitchfit but it did make a difference...sometimes you do have to throw a bitchfit to get results...but believe me it was planned and executed to the minute...i should win an academy award...BUT it was from the heart and i ment every emotion and word i said...but i just never "lost" control...

so for today life is good...