Monday, April 21, 2008

ugh, I'm having a moment...

I'm feeling quite ugly today...actually I've been feeling this way for a minute...
my hair is acting weird...I gained five to ten pounds in the span of about 3 weeks...and I'm tired of big boobs (which gotta weigh about 20 pounds each)...
so with the warm weather, I'm going to walk again...can't seem to get to the gym (not that I lost weight there anyway)...

now I generally like the way I look, but I can't seem to shake this weight...I started eating bread albeit whole grain or organic...but that really doesn't make a difference...haven't been eating too much red meat...with the new spaces in my teeth the dentist created, I just don't feel like picking my teeth after each meal...
I hate the way I look in pictures...they never do me justice...and my arms...lifted too much weight when I was younger and we know what happens when you don't keep it up...still strong as an ox, but the muscle relaxed, and to me that's not a good look...

I swear I need a gastric bypass...however I'm not as heavy as I was in the past, and for the most part the weight I've lost has stayed off...
I'm not looking for a magic pill, but just a good combination that works...

but I still wear a size 8 pants (and they are not tight), and a medium in shirts...maybe its just that I'm tired...I tend to swell when I'm tired...but it's almost time for my yearly physical, maybe this year someone will have an answer...last year we thought the thyroid, but no, I'm healthy as an ox...THANK GOD...

so I'm not going to complain cause I am healthy...I'ma put on my authentic prada shoes I scored for 30.00, my citizen jeans I scored for 5.00, my cutest cleavage shirt (cause I'm on vaca) and go enjoy NYC and the beautiful weather...

I do have to go to work tomorrow cause folks don't know how to do their jobs...but I will always pick up the pieces cause my boss looks out for me big time...

2 comments:

The Bear Maiden said...

I am convinced that the single greatest problem--and the common denominator among women who suffer with the weight battle, is self-perception. Your self-perception is off. It amazes me every time someone complains about being "fat"... and that word is usually associated with "ugly". And usually the (mostly/only women) saying it are far from either. I look at you, and my other friends who say the same things, and what I see is so very different from what you see of your self that every time I hear those words it's like a slap in the face. Cuz I always think to myself "What the fuck are you talking about????"

Cuz if you and I can wear the same size pants... AND if you used to not be able to fit into those pants, um, how can you be fat???? I mean, I'm heavier than I used to be and I don't like the feeling... and there are rolls and roundness where there wasn't before, but I don't consider myself fat and ugly. Certainly, not ugly.

I say the same thing about people complaining about being "fat and ugly" that I say about men who sound like/act like/say similar things as TF: "Look! It's a disease and it has symptoms, and everything!"

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

woman, dont ever say ub feel ugly with the heart u have fgolk