water

as water is ever changing
so is my life

water ebbs and flows
so do my feelings

water envelopes
surrounds you
with soft
but strong
current

that's how
i will be
for you
surrounding you with love
holding you close
with strong arms

water can be destructive
but without it
we will die

water can be tamed
but at the same time
leak out at will
doing what it wants

same as love
touch
feeling
ebbing
flowing

water is a necessity
just like love

water is beautiful
as you are

the start of spring...almost

down eight ave
up seventh...
cars thumping
bikes roaring

groups of
girls
guys
men
woman
intertwining
walking circles
preparing for
springs mating dance

down eight ave
up seventh
babies dressed to the nines
thousand dollar strollers
Gucci, Louie, uggs

weaves flowing
lines right
glitter bling
ready for spring

down eight ave
up seventh
baby mama drama
"I'ma kick yo ass bitch"

5 0
slow go
mascato flowing
blunts glowing
skunk, haze
puts you in a daze

down eight ave
up seventh
profiling
styling

"who's dat"
nails done
engines hum
looking right
knots tight

down eight ave
up seventh
people streaming
getting ready
for summers heat
folks meet
greet

beefs forgotten
young bloods
fightin
flirtin
talking trash

down eighth ave
up seventh
the start of spring
ice receded
grass growing
blowing

getting ready
for summer strolls
down eight ave
up seventh...

2018

a special place
66 steps to the top
so many people
so many ghosts
so many memories

we were family
hot summer nights
tar beach parties
doors always open
flowing between houses

we were one
struggling together
huddling under blankets
pipes frozen
no water

lock on the door
borrowing lights
from the hall
borrowing sugar
salt
bread

you have
we have
come eat baby

bike shop
fights
making love
in every nook and cranny

babies born
Bo shot on the roof
Ms. Francis
Mr. O'Dell
Mr. Roberts

running fast
holding your nose
to get past
Ms. Calhoun's house
chitterlings and cat shit

Hardest Hard
the fire
newbies

how many stairs to the top?
you do this everyday?

we were proud
the Bikeshop boys
Beautika

Will
Curly
Red who murdered his wife
Judge D

never will it be
the same
again
2018

heaven and hell
66 steps to the top
gone forever
but never forgotten

Ms. Francis

a classy woman
an old fashioned lady
sensible shoes
trench coat

she used to wear a wig
i told her once
she was too pretty
will mess up
her indian hair

from that day on
she wore a bang
and ponytail
black and silky

but she remained
a classy woman
an old fashioned lady
sensible shoes
trench coat

never saw family
she came and went
first walking proudly
then with a cane
then stooped
like the weight
of the world
was on her shoulders

but she remained
a classy woman
an old fashioned lady
sensible shoes
trench coat

she always asked
after the family
the children
remarked how much
they grew

laughing behind
a delicate hand
a lady like giggle

always remaining
a classy woman
an old fashioned lady
sensible shoes
trench coat

she died alone
with no one to care
but she will always remain
a classy woman
an old fashioned lady
sensible shoes
trench coat

snow

the white softness
mutes the sounds
of the city
filling the trees
covering the ground

soft as cotton
fluffy
like a cloud
falling to earth
you can sink
into it's softness

like a security blanket
the soft surrounds you
covering the ugly
making everything look
like wonderland

the white softness
a gift from God
muting
covering
surrounding
making the world
for a moment
the most beautiful
place on earth

greatful

to be greatful
we take for granted
to be greatful
is hard to do

but God gives us
so much
to be greatful for

when times get rough
we forget
to be greatful
when people act up
we forget
to be greatful

but it's never
as bad
as to forget
to be greatful
for what we have

school days

twirling
swirling
smiling
fighting
screaming
jumping
bumping
crying


tears
smears
whines
lines
moving like ants
tearing of pants

hugging
slugging
pushing
smushing

childhood
school
real real
cool

new beginnings

rebirth
starting the clock
at the midway mark
every day
a new beginning
every second
rebirth
tick tick tick

babies born
elders pass
young adults
move on
new beginnings
rebirth
tick tick tick

time changes
but stands still
always the same
never the same
starting over
rebirth
tick tick tick

new jobs
new homes
new people
relationships
fresh as a baby
born
rebirth
tick tick tick

new beginnings
rebirth
tick tick tick

fall

colors
rich reds, oranges
leaves crunching

cool mornings
jackets, sweaters
apples munching

sunday dinners
hot chocolate
marshmallows melting

thanksgiving
friends and family
food digesting

fall
colors
friends
jackets
coming together

time

where did the time go?
yesterday the kids
were small
the parents young
I was starting on my journey
of life

where does the time go?
now I have Greys
the kids have kids
the parents
have grands
and great-grands

where did the time go?
the seasons keep changing
like clockwork
the trees are still
in the place i saw them last
not seeming to age

where does the time go?
with a blink of an eye
and a nod of the head
it's all different

I'm called Ms.
by folks
in my minds eye
I'm the same age as
children were born
when I was twenty
and now
they're twenty

where it it go?
it seems like yesterday
I ran in the park
with no aches or pains
no cares no worries

but time keeps ticking
the world keeps turning

where did the time go?
it slipped away
never to come back

but I have memories
stories
smells
an everlasting present
of time

66 steps...

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10
I'm starting to climb
the stairs to heaven
to the top of the world
to the center of the universe

11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20
each step gives me a memory
how each of us
at some time
or another
has fallen down these stairs
stumbled up these stairs
some of us hurt
some of us laughing
till tears streamed down
our faces

21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30
each step brings me memories
tears of sadness
at the loss
of good friends
of how these steps
have changed
how old and dingy they now look
worn
but comfortable
cradling your foot


31,32,
33 marks the number of years
we've spent climbing
these 66 stairs
stairs to heaven
stairs to the top of the world
stairs to the center of the universe
half way there
it's been hard
but we have so much farther
to go
to reach the heavens
the top of the world
the center of the universe
family
it started with four
now we're numberless
powerful
together

34,35,36,37,38,39,40
as the halfway point is passed
memories of births
new friends that have climbed these stairs
for the first time
breathless
"how do you do it?"
not expecting to reach heaven
the top of the world
the center of the universe
toddlers learning to walk
up and down
laughter
greetings
smiling faces
peering through the railings
"hi nana, poppy, mommy"

41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50
animals making a break for it
running
running to freedom
down those 66 steps
to be stopped by the front door
just short of freedom

51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60
up and down these stairs
life has flowed
memories have been built
up with crutches
down by medics
carried in snuggles
carrying shopping carts
on shoulders
with food
laundry
tumbling
running
laughing
crying
stumbling

61,62,63,64,65
almost there
sun shining
through the window
the call of home
is strong
warm arms
are ready to embrace you
good conversation
good food
good smells
love
laughter

66
I made it
to heaven
to the top of the world
the center of the universe
healing my wounds
exploding with good news
I can shout it out
at the top of the world
the center of the universe

fat

my fat
is my buffer to the world
insulation
from peoples
thoughts
issues
fears

my fat
protects me
from sensations
vibrations

everything is muted
when it goes through
the fat

my fat
locks everything in
my thoughts
feelings
sensations
sadness
anger

why do I need my fat?
the protection
insulation
security

I'm afraid
to let it go
what will happen
if I don't have
the warm blanket
of my fat

thick, yellow
chicken fat
coating
laying
under my skin
winding around
my entrails

if I confront
my fat
I confront
me
and its not
always pretty
scary in fact

I cant let
my security blanket go
fat
my fat

wake up
its a new day
a day we all
prayed for

but how new is this day
when the routine is the same
the pain is the same
the players are the same

but I'm happy
to have been able
to wake up
on this new day

I'm fucken Pissed...

after spending 165 on a multi-use charger the lap top is not working...it won't boot up...SHIT SHIT SHIT...
I swear...I'm bout the throw the thing in the garbage...

I'm pissed
that the world
does not go according
to my plan

I'm pissed
that for every step
I take
I always seem
to stumble and drop
my bundle of progress

I'm pissed
that money
is always an issue
an open sore
a festering wound

I'm pissed
that my children
are giving me grays
silver is spouting faster
than the spring weeds

boy oh boy
am I pissed
that I'm not
slim
trim
rich
and married

but I'm not pissed
because
I'm blessed

blessed that I can take that step
blessed that I can pick up my bundle
blessed that time heals all wounds
blessed that gray hair signifies
knowledge, wisdom
blessed that my children
are with me
to annoy me
blessed that I can
carry a heavy load
cause I'm strong
happy
loved

All I can say is WOW...
with tears streaming down my face
all I can say is WOW...
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN

we can go to college
we can make a difference
our voices can be heard
all I can say is WOW...
with tears streaming down my face
all I can say is WOW...
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN

we worked for four hundred years
and now a descendant of those who built the white house
can now live in the white house
a descendant of those who built Washington
can now claim Washington
and all I can say is WOW...
with tears streaming down my face
all I can say is WOW...
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN

our voice is finally heard
above the roar
calm cool collected
ever mindful that all are watching
but we are strong
finally united as one
and all I can say is WOW...
with tears streaming down my face
all I can say is WOW...
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN

for some
its sex, drugs, and rock and roll

for us
its sex, food, and fighting

to them
drugs make the sex good

for us
fighting makes the sex good

for some
rock and roll is a way of life

for us
food is a way of life

for them
the three are combined
sometime

for us
the three are combined
always

can you imagine
if we all lived as one?
sex, more sex, drugs, food, fighting
and rock and roll

wait...that sounds like America now...
is it no wonder
we never progress?

snow falling
gently
as it touches
my hand
it tickles
cold
wet
cold
white fluffy
snow
swirling
whirling
cold
wet
cold
snow
then I wake up

machines whirring
dryers turning
the heat is above
105
ladies draped down
long sleeves
head covered
skirts to the floor
oblivious to the heat
talking on the phone
in a sing song voice
as we American ladies
all but naked
melt
sweat
curse
while we fold our clothes

the day after

oh say can you see
by the dawns early light
the left over residue
from last nights fight
on the ramparts I watched
the poor trees screaming
again I ask
was I only dreaming?
the cops never came
the streets torn down
the cars, buildings
does this happen downtown?
my house smells of smoke
but the curtains were saved
another year we're safe
from the neighborhoods craze
oh say that the star spangled
banner does wave
o'er the land of the free
and the block of the brave

gansta banner

oh say can you see
the ghetto firework show
by the window I watch
already in the know
twilights last gleaming
the rockets red glare
I stand and I shiver
while bombs burst in the air
giving proof through the night
that the stupid are there
oh say where the cops at
when we need them the most
as I fear that my curtains
will go up in smoke
oh say that the star spangled
banner does wave
o'er the land of the free
and the block of the brave