Tuesday, December 4, 2007

I'M TIRED I'M TIRED I'M TIRED

so folks I really have to move ASAP...landlady has violated, idiot piece of shit is relishing in his accomplishment of ruining my life (he thinks)...but the joke is I always land on my feet and everything happens for a reason...I feel like the children of Israel when they fled Egypt...I'm about half packed...
I'm going to look at a prewar one bedroom apartment that has been in wildfires family for 40 years...although its a one bedroom, its supposed to be really big...and the rent, I won't even mention the quote I got cause everyone will want to live off my surplus...I will be able to save and hopefully purchase something in a year or too, or just buy fancy handbags and really nice shoes!!!! I have NEVER had a time when I didn't struggle financially. Moodmagicbarb and I don't need a lot of space, she's never home on the weekends anyway...

Choclahontas I guess will be staying with bearmaiden till feb 1st when she's supposed to get her own apt....we are going to put her bed and clothes in storage...
I know bearmaiden is feeling MANY ways about this and I'm really sorry, but we are fleeing this apt...landlady is waiting gleefully to bring the cops to the house and put my shit on the street...she's said as much to lawyerman...so I don't have time...
I know that choclahontas needs bearmaiden right in thru here...she has come to the end of her progression with me because she is too busy rebelling...you can't do that with a small child...I also know that she will get on her own a hell of a lot faster being with bearmaiden than with me...
so pray that this apt is really nice, cause if it is I will be paying for it and moving in this weekend...my goal is to have this apartment empty by sunday night dec. 16th...

Hey today is the 17th anniversary of the accident choclahontas and I were in...a building collapsed on us...my leg was completely broken below my knee and above my ankle (I don't have that ankle bump, it was completely crushed) and I have plates and screws holding my leg together...choclahontas had a skull fracture...I had nine stitches in my head (umm, maybe that's why I'm soo crazy) and a bone graph from my hip to my crushed ankle...I have beautiful scars on my leg...if you look carefully you can see the scar on the left side of choclahontas hair line and on the side of her head in front of her ear...
she was in the hospital for a week, during which her eyes were swollen shut..she had racoon eyes for a few months...I was in the hospital for two weeks and had a six hour operation to reconstruct my broken bones...I was in a full leg cast for three months...thats when idiot piece of shit started talking to me (I knew him before and never liked him)...he smelled money...me in my weakened state thought he really meant well and was there to help me...right...

So I tired as shit...I taught tonight and came home and packed...like I said I'm more than half done...the kitchen is almost done, the book case is done...I just have to do the rest of the kitchen and start working on MMB's room...choclahontas in another story...I think she gonna need the help of bigbear and bearmaiden...I just don't have the energy...

1 comment:

The Bear Maiden said...

So we weren't speaking on Tuesday :) and I wasn't visiting you over here, but I wanted you to know that for the first time I actually remembered you and the accident today. For years, I had conveniently forgotten it. And you know that I ran like a bat out of hell when you came home. I couldn't deal. It was awful. I'll never forget the day; where I was when they told me to call home, and that no one answered and so I thought everyone I knew was OK. And finally, someone called me... and this is where things begin to blur... because I can't remember if it was Aunt Pat or Uncly or Bigbear who actually told me the building had fallen. But I remember going in to "shutdown" mode, and praying for the baby all the way uptown on the 2 train, and not you. Because if I prayed for you and something happened, I would never forgive God. So I prayed for the baby, telling myself that as long as she was OK, you would be OK, but that if something happened to her you would never be the same. I remember seeing you in the ER on a stretcher, asking me over and over "Is she OK? You can tell me, I won't freak out. Did she die?" And I could tell you honestly that she was OK. I remember you weren't even up in the room good before the ambulance-chasers came to call... talking about lawsuits. I remember how Bigbear stayed in the hospital everyday, and I just ran. And I'm sorry I did... but you were always the other half of my heart; when you were a baby and you cried in pain, I always cried too. I had to shut it down or I would have fallen apart... And I'm glad you made it--scars and all.