my life...

...makes me very tired ...
mamahat: so here's a gist of what has been happening...pita is having a nervous breakdown...part of it is real, and part of it is because he craves, but pushes away, attention. His brother got twenty years in jail, his best friend is getting thirty years...his fam is crazy, and he really only has us...he has real issues...but he wants choclahontas all to himself...he wants her to be his saving grace, his sunshine, the one who holds him together...that's fine to want, but that's not her...envision if you will a deer in the woods, they are beautiful but make a move and they go dashing off showing the white under the tail. I try to be patient cause they are very young and are doing a really good job overall, but it makes me tired and takes all my attention away from moodmagicbarbie who is flirting with being gay...she doesn't understand the complexities of being gay, but thinks something is wrong with her because shes not into boys..."mmb" I say "do you think that has something to do with you being TWELVE?" That also says something for the society in which we live...when I was twelve, I didn't even know what being gay was, never mind flirting with the idea...and I HATED boys...I would much rather push weights or do hair...
So here we all are, the young fighting couple, both with deep seated mental issues, the bipolar anxiety ridden gay girl, and me...crazy, but trying to hold it all together.
I ask myself, where did I go wrong? one had a baby at 18, and the other
is gender confused...now don't get me wrong I have nothing against being gay I just happen to love a stiff one (a girlfriend recently pushed up on me, and I had to explain to her that although I have not had a man in about ten years, I am NOT gay). I also believe being gay is biological and in MMB's case half her fathers family is dikey gay...when she was three years old she asked me "why do they call Auntie E auntie when shes a man?"...so if that's the life she chooses god bless her, and I will support her, but how the fuck do you know at 12 what you are and why the fuck is she thinking about it...I have to find stuff for her to do, and I have to get her away from the ghetto...Thank goodness she is going to Oregon in a few weeks...

middlenamehat: I didn't have my jogging date. But I haven't seen dread in two days, thinking of it I haven't seen any of the grounds keepers either...I think they had to stay at their posts (I saw alot of suits walking through the projects, checking on the workers)...they really treat the lowers down like shit, but I did a little snooping and I think he's a Trinnie. But whatever, you know me, out of sight, out of mind...

clinicianhat: update: my client who thrives on blood and intimidation is getting more violent, and I'm still waiting to get info on getting him a psyc...at least I got someone else (my supervisor) interested, but it seems that I have to find the Dr.
one of my clients A, showed me another personality. we were going along fine, and all of a sudden Juan appeared...this is new...Juan seems to be the protector of A. The teachers feel that hes "acting" for attention, but I don't think so...I will explore it futher nxt week...
...speaking of, the therapeutic classroom is housed in a daycare. The daycare held their graduation yesterday...the director had the kitchen cook a spread, complete with cake...do you think the parents and graduates (all eight of them) got to eat?...HELL NO...they put the food in the library (which is for show anyway cause the kids NEVER use it) and didn't tell the parents...so the food went to the director and her cronies...the assistant teachers and aides got to eat after the higher ups ate...I am NOT lying...

I could go on and on, but I think this is enough for one night...I don't want to give anyone a headache...I don't know how I survive without being in, or visiting, the happyhouse...