parenting...

is one of the hardest jobs in the world...especially if you are doing it alone...with choclahontas is was easier in a strange way...being adopted I had a lot of support from my parents...I guess cause she was thrown at me...but the little one? no...she never spent the night out...she was stuck under my ass 24/7...i didn't treat the two differently...just treated them according to their personalities and capabilities...
I thought i was parenting ok...but according to moodmagicbarbie I'm unbearable, I'm intolerable, I'm the worst person on earth...now most children do spew these words of hate to their parents but when you are one parent who does everything in their freaking power to make a good life for you and your children I find that totally disrespectful...
I'm not asking this child to worship the ground i walk on but shit, show some respect...i never forced her to show respect, I modeled respect...i said please and thank you...compromised...thought of my children first...
but this child is angry because i didn't give her a white picket fence and siblings her age...i can't send her on 500 dollar shopping sprees cause she's tired of her wardrobe and decides to throw it all away...throw away things I busted my ass to buy...
she thinks life here is hard...word? after i give you everything i have plus...yeah i spoil my children, but life is so hard I want them to know what unconditional love is so they wont find it in the arms of an asshole...i guess i overcompensated cause their father is such an asshole...
but you think this is hard?
child dances in my room at 10 to announce she's going out...now ordinarily she wouldn't go but she has her friend...so if she doesn't go, that leaves this child going home alone, in the snow..."but she travels at 3 in the morning alone" says the lovely charming child i have....but not on my watch...so yes, she goes...she was rude, belligerent and indignant cause how dare I...whatever she feels...if she kills herself I'm gonna be the cause...word?
so you know what? you can go...bye...you think I'm such a horrible person? you think you have it hard here? go...be a street child...know what hard is...scrapple for money...sleep six to a bed...be homeless for a while...maybe then you will appreciate what you have...
i don't have time for the bullhsit...this kid makes a decision to not talk to me or anyone else...i've set her up for therapy to give her someone to talk to, she won't go...i can't make her...then you know what? go crazy on your own time...you claim your so unhappy...go find happiness...maybe you'll find it at your friends house...i'm done...kid or not...there is no way ima allow someone to consistently put me down and disrespect me especially when I provide every fucken thing you own...
so when she's ready to understand what she has, and appreciate what she has, and shows me some respect I'll listen, but until that point you're on your own kid...cause you think you'll have a better life...good luck with that...