Im a bundle of confusion...don't know if I'm coming or going...men are weird, jobs have nothing to do with work and everything to do with games...I have money going faster than I can keep track...sigh...i'm not happy...
I like tiny, I do, but his words "I don't see you like that, I tried but I just don't" reverberate in my head...even tho we have had some beautiful days, I can't let that go...in the past I've overlooked those words and went with the action and got burnt...i realize that most men will take what ever is thrown their way regardless if they really want it or not...all this to say i'm backing the fuck up...believing his initial words...we can go camping, trailwalking when ever but i'm not putting anything else into it...one day i'll find the perfect man who has the qualities of tiny but who will see me and like me...i'm not here to convince anyone to like me...did that with idiot and ten years later i still got screwed...broke and screwed...no thank you...
the job...sigh...i need a new one ASAP...by july the latest...no vacation for me...i wonder why i gotta work so fucken hard all the time...i did all the right things and still i struggle...
so now i'm officially depressed and headed to work...