too many things happen in my day for me to keep track of...then when I get home I have to deal with bullshit and choclahontas creeping mess...rather its a vine out of control...I have to beat it back...I pray to God that he grants me a miracle so she can move out...I've pushed her move out date to Feb when she gets money again...
I've applied for a third job, hopefully that will come through then I can pay the rent by myself, and have some money left over to eat...
I'm also very angry at God...I've been single for 12 years...I had one dude who was strictly a babysitter, but he turned out to be a creep...he lived with me for exchange of childcare (poppabear was very sick, bigbear was stressed, bearmaiden was pregnant and I was in the second half of my semester in school and I didn't want to drop out)...and the other dude was strictly there to get back at the devil himself (aka idiot)...needless to say that was a dumb move and it didn't work out either...
so anyway...
the guy that I am most compatible with is 13 years my junior, an ex-con and has a girl pregnant (but there is a 50/50 chance its not his cause she fessed up to fucking around)...but he is the sweetest, most considerate guy I have ever met...he's wonderful with the girls...he was a friend to choclahontas, her "brother" in the street...he has liked me for years (I think about 4 or 5) and used to lie about his age to get me to go on a date with him...
he is definitely a diamond in the rough, but is not stupid...but this is what God always does to me...he will show me someone/something special, then put all kinds of ridiculous obstacles in my way...I've learned to keep it moving, and not even engage...but on the other hand, I got another raise...go figure...
Fearing for our safety...
10 years ago
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