so many things are swirling around

that I really don't know where or how to start...I started moving things from the old house to the new...I put down a new kitchen floor and put a shade in the bathroom...I really like this apartment...it has character...I can feel the folks from way back when, there are alot of spirits, but good not bad...I feel the era...the class...the music...the greatness that was once this complex and the folks who resided here...its weird, but I feel warm and protected being here...
its gonna be strange without choclahontas and tunner on a daily basis...but I'm looking forward to being with moodmagicbarb...choc had me all to herself for eight years, and mmb will have me hopefully for at least six...

sexychocolate and I are together everyday and he helps me tremendously...but I wont lie and say we are in a relationship...we are both using each other for what the other has to offer...
I had a long talk with babymama today...she started by leaving some nasty message, then calling me and not saying anything...but I told her she can talk to me...she said basically she doesnt want/like sexychocolate and that (which she didn't verbalize directly)she was making her husband (whom she claims she's divorcing) jealous...she confirmed what sexy told me, and that is they haven't been intimate since she found out she was pregnant...she wasn't nasty to me and said she just wants him to see the baby...she did not take responsibility for some dumbshit she did the other day (which I saw first hand)and told only half the story...but whatever...I got my own shit...I talked with sexy about it without getting too involved and not asking his side (cause basically I don't care)...

choclahontas is defiantly feeling some kind of way about this whole moving process...I feel bad for her, but its not like I didn't tell her about this from the beginning...she's my child and I love her dearly, but there comes a time when you have to stand up for yourself and make moves...I know she will be ok, and I hope that she does not feel I'm throwing her away, because I'm not, but I know that this need to be done to make her get serious and make some goals to aspire to.

Tunner, or whirlwind, is funny as hell, however he's taking to cursing which is really not funny...but he knows its wrong, and if we curse he looks at us and says "no, powpow, no say dat"...when he curses and you look at him or say something he immediately says "oh SHOOOT, oh man"..."fuck outta here" is his new favorite along with "oh SHIT"...
whirlwind knows his mama and her capabilities, or lack of...he wanted cereal, and he asked her many times...she put cereal in the bowl, but forgot the milk..."milk, mama" he said...she forgot to give him a spoon...he climb off the chair and went to the box where the silverware is grumblling "poon, ^%*$!@#$%^^%$$##@#, poon, no mama poon"...he got his spoon sat down and ate...
the other day when choc was in a tude, he leaned over to sexy and said "mama attitude, right?"...
so I hope my ramblings are coherent...I'm tired and trying not to be overwhelmed...I have to write a final tomorrow and tuesday that class gets theirs..so I have to grade finals and papers and get all my shit out by dec thirty-first...

IM FINALLY MOVING!

so I found a beautiful apartment in the Dunbar apartment complex...its small but spread out, so its cozy not tight-second floor (two apartments to the floor)...its rent stabilized and affordable...Moodmagic and I will be comfortable in our new digs...Choclahontas is a little shocked that I really went through with this, but she will be ok...We are now going to look for a one bedroom for her and tunnertine (who is getting big and really talking-I will tell you that in a min)...
I'm tired but I promise to update you on all later or tomorrow...

I'M TIRED I'M TIRED I'M TIRED

so folks I really have to move ASAP...landlady has violated, idiot piece of shit is relishing in his accomplishment of ruining my life (he thinks)...but the joke is I always land on my feet and everything happens for a reason...I feel like the children of Israel when they fled Egypt...I'm about half packed...
I'm going to look at a prewar one bedroom apartment that has been in wildfires family for 40 years...although its a one bedroom, its supposed to be really big...and the rent, I won't even mention the quote I got cause everyone will want to live off my surplus...I will be able to save and hopefully purchase something in a year or too, or just buy fancy handbags and really nice shoes!!!! I have NEVER had a time when I didn't struggle financially. Moodmagicbarb and I don't need a lot of space, she's never home on the weekends anyway...

Choclahontas I guess will be staying with bearmaiden till feb 1st when she's supposed to get her own apt....we are going to put her bed and clothes in storage...
I know bearmaiden is feeling MANY ways about this and I'm really sorry, but we are fleeing this apt...landlady is waiting gleefully to bring the cops to the house and put my shit on the street...she's said as much to lawyerman...so I don't have time...
I know that choclahontas needs bearmaiden right in thru here...she has come to the end of her progression with me because she is too busy rebelling...you can't do that with a small child...I also know that she will get on her own a hell of a lot faster being with bearmaiden than with me...
so pray that this apt is really nice, cause if it is I will be paying for it and moving in this weekend...my goal is to have this apartment empty by sunday night dec. 16th...

Hey today is the 17th anniversary of the accident choclahontas and I were in...a building collapsed on us...my leg was completely broken below my knee and above my ankle (I don't have that ankle bump, it was completely crushed) and I have plates and screws holding my leg together...choclahontas had a skull fracture...I had nine stitches in my head (umm, maybe that's why I'm soo crazy) and a bone graph from my hip to my crushed ankle...I have beautiful scars on my leg...if you look carefully you can see the scar on the left side of choclahontas hair line and on the side of her head in front of her ear...
she was in the hospital for a week, during which her eyes were swollen shut..she had racoon eyes for a few months...I was in the hospital for two weeks and had a six hour operation to reconstruct my broken bones...I was in a full leg cast for three months...thats when idiot piece of shit started talking to me (I knew him before and never liked him)...he smelled money...me in my weakened state thought he really meant well and was there to help me...right...

So I tired as shit...I taught tonight and came home and packed...like I said I'm more than half done...the kitchen is almost done, the book case is done...I just have to do the rest of the kitchen and start working on MMB's room...choclahontas in another story...I think she gonna need the help of bigbear and bearmaiden...I just don't have the energy...